I’ve been wanting to write something sincere for awhile but it’s been hard to find the time and the clarity of mind to do so. My recent past been unexpected. Exciting, busy, sad, challenging, fun, hopeful, painful… it’s all happening.
It’s hard for me to acknowledge the “good” in my life when things are not exactly as I want it them be. As much as I want things to be easy, I’ve never wanted things to be easy. It’s more exciting to view my life as a series of problems to be solved than to accept the fact that it could all end tomorrow and this could be all I have.
And what I’ve discovered is that “all I have” is a full fucking life. Loves to be had. Stories to be told. Lessons to be learned. Everything that happens to me, everyone I meet, everything I do, is the result of a choice. I’m on a path that I chose… it can be rough or it can be beautiful but it’s always just me. And that’s about as perfect as it gets.
I am not totally comfortable with this feeling. On the contrary, I don’t think I have ever felt more stoic and pensive than I do right now. Important transitions are in effect and it’s fucking hard to sit still and do this work.
I know one thing, though.
I will get everything I need in this life. So will you. You deserve every dream and every happiness. The universe is a big place and there is enough for all of us.
If you love what you do, work hard at it. If you’re not sure whether or not you’re working hard enough, work harder. Don’t give anyone any reason to doubt you. Keep your head down.
Not everyone is worthy of your energy so don’t just give it away. I don’t love easily and I think that’s okay. Keep it locked away until it’s all you can do but to explode. When you do fall in love, love HARD. Love unconditionally. Kill fear with love. It may not work. Do it anyway.
Love what doesn’t love you back.
Love yourself. Stop judging. Fuck up as much as you want to. Let other people fuck up. Fuck up together. Don’t worry about the outcome, make a mess and never clean it up. You don’t need to know where you are going, just keep moving. You can’t control every outcome so don’t try to control anything.
Only you can do what you do.
Keep fighting. Maybe you are fighting for someone else and they don’t even know it. Keep fighting for them too.
I fucking believe in you.